thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
