It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
