I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
