You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Floor bacon is actually really good
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
