The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You can't just leave with hair like that
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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