i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize