I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
