its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
