why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
