yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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