Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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