My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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