You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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