I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
