its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
