but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
