Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
