Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
