hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
