I can tuck mytits in my pants
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
