Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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