Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize