By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
