That's intense
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
