Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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