who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Randomize
