All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
