you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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