so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
