having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
