I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
