Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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