areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
