just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
