Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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