i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
