so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
