I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize