I never want to see another naked old woman again.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
