I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize