the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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