That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
please don't ironically join a cult
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