I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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