No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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