So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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