saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
