Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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