Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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