Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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