woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
there is glitter all over my balls
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