Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
