69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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