I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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