That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
